our deepest, darkest fears

we all have the same fears. we fear the death of a loved one, running out of money, natural calamities (still hitting myself over the head for not witnessing the hailstorm last month!), pain, dying, cockroaches, spiders, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. but, of course, we all have our very own deepest and darkest fears. some may seem weird to others, but it is true fear to them nonetheless. and nothing that anybody might say can totally alleviate their fears.

what am i scared of aside from the usual fears that any normal and sane person has? well, am freaking scared of getting injured or dying while am mother nekkid. am scared of having a stroke while am in the shower, and my family will find me…eeeppp…mother freaking nekkid!!! am scared of losing consciousnesses while am showering and then hitting my head on the tiles, killing me instantly or just knocking me silly, prompting my family to break the door open ‘coz have been there for, like, three hours already and the water’s still running (but i bet their primary concern though would be for the water bill or that somebody’s waiting too long for his or her turn. ehehehe). am scared of an earthquake hitting while am showering and subsequently getting trapped underneath all those rubbles wearing only my birthday suit. if and when rescue comes to dig me up from underneath the debris, they’ll get the shock of their lives when they unearth me. can already imagine the headlines in the newspapers…”lady godiva found after <_blank_> days of being buried…still alive and kicking but very, very malnourished.” at the back of my mind, probably would be thinking, “good, am finally thin again.” that is, if am still alive. but if they find me dead, it’ll probably read…”naked woman found dead under debris…reason why lady is undressed, unknown.” then friends and families will wonder (probably even become a juicy gossip, mind you) why in fuck’s name am naked. sad, eh, to go out that way?

silly fear, you might say? well, not for me.

but i find gords’ fear really silly though. dear hubby of mine is afraid of meeting an accident wearing very old and very tattered underwear. reminded him daw of a friend who was in an accident. when the friend was taken to the ER, very bloody and semiconscious, the nurses began pulling off his jeans to further examine him, but patient kept holding on to the waistband of his pants, struggling with all his fast-dwindling might to keep them on. when the nurses finally won the battle, they found him wearing one of his wife’s old panties, and he looked like a very manly man at that!!! oh, the shame!!!

this possible reality has become one of gords’ fears though – the fear of being caught unaware wearing old and tattered undies.

i remembered last weekend when we were going to shop for groceries (now mostly consisting of kulasito-related groceries like his weekly milk formula and nappies). as i was preparing my undies and clothes, he exclaimed in shock (sorry, shock is the only way i can aptly describe his tone), “yan ang gagamiton mo, bi?!”

“iyo, tano?” me, indignant.

“lumaon na baga yan saka ralabot na!  pano kung maaksidente kita tapos arog kayan ang gamit mo?!” his voice still conveyed his disbelief of why, in gawd-almighty’s name, do i still have THAT apparently ghastly (para saiya man lang) thing in our closet.

“labot mo!” i retorted in a huff, “anong gusto mo, maglakaw akong huba?!”

“mayo ka nang iba kayan? babakalan ta ka daw bagong mga kalson.”

yeah, right. like you notice THEM in the dark, anyway. *smirks* hahaha! what’s wrong with my old pair of undies, anyway? i love it, and it’s very comfortable! but really, am not one of those who love to collect and wear matching, lacy undies. am the type who wear soen panties, so never really thought of buying sexy lingerie to parade in front of my dear hubby when i got married. the last time i bought a new pair was when i needed something blue for the wedding. ooppppsss…another secret of mine revealed. hahaha! i bought one from bench nga lang. cheapskate! hehehe.

anyway, we never bought new undies ‘coz i was so adamantly against it. right now, gords is in need of new undies (or so he’s saying, but they all still look fine to me), and he’s threatening me that he won’t buy new ones UNLESS i buy some for myself. so far, am winning. hahaha!

ooohhhh…he’s home now. wait a bit, he’s talking to me…

hahaha!!! i was wrong. IT was his second question, “anong oras kita masimba, bi?” “hain si kulasito?” was his first.

“ara-achan lang, gords. madali lang po, taposon ko lang ni.”

so, well, bye for now. we’re off to listen to the padre talk about God then buy milk and nappies after.

hmp, think have strayed too far from the topic of deepest, darkest fears. don’t care! bye again!

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