the hamster and the bat

this story is about mama hamster and her meeting with a big, nasty bat.

setting:  mama hamster was busy with her squash seeds and watching the tv.  second hamster was in the living room with her little son.  third hamster wasn’t in the house that time.

second hamster was playing with her son when she heard mama hamster let out a loud shriek, “bat!”  of course, second hamster ran to her room to see what the commotion was about but was met by mama hamster with a wild look in her eyes.  breathlessly, mama hamster said in a shuddering voice, “a huge bat…inside our room…very large…very black…very disgusting!”

second hamster, who was afraid of the bat but wanted it gone, offered to help mama hamster get rid of it.  she went inside mama hamster’s room and saw the squash seeds scattered all over the bed (proof that mama hamster was surprised out her wits), but when she saw just how huge it was and just how black, left mama hamster’s room quickly, leaving mama hamster to do the dirty deed herself.

with a loud harrumph, mama hamster (who really wanted it gone) took the broom from the dining room and came creeping back (much like rambo did in his movies) towards their room.  after a loud indian cry, a lot of dancing later with broom crazily waving way above her head, and much, much panicked shrieking from mama hamster, mama hamster failed to get the bat.  it was also very unfortunate that the bat hid itself.

“where is it?” mama hamster cried.

second hamster, who boasts of a very good 20/20 eyesight, looked for the bat, “there!” she answered, pointing towards the screen.  tightly gripping the screen was the bat, shaking in fright from mama hamster’s crazy broom dance.

“i need the insecticide.  where is it?”  mama hamster asked.

“dining room,” second hamster replied, “by the window.  but it won’t kill the bat.”

“i just want it a bit dizzy, so i can smack it with the broom,” came the anxious reply from mama hamster.

“fine by me.”

mama hamster took the can from the dining room, and with another of her rambo moves, she crept slowly towards the bat and sprayed.  she aimed high, and she aimed true.

zzzzzzttttttttttt!!!!!!!!

insecticide spray hit the bat right smack in the middle of its face.

thud!

bat landed on the floor.

“where?” mama hamster asked breathlessly.

“there!” second hamster answered just as breathlessly.

wham!

broom hit bat hard, but bat, although probably very lightheaded from the insecticide, still managed to fly off.  mama hamster let out another wild indian cry, went after poor bat (who landed on top of her bed, mind you!), and hit, and hit, and hit, and hit poor bat!

squash seeds flew in every direction, in very, very slow motion.

wham!  down came the broom, and squash seeds flew to the other side of the bed.  wham!  down came the broom, and squash seeds flew to the floor.  wham! down came the broom, and squash seeds flew towards her night table.  wham! down came the broom, and squash seeds flew all around mama hamster in great, big, white spray of little  seeds.  wham!  down came the broom, and mama hamster kept hitting and hitting and hitting poor bat.

“mama, that’s enough.  bat’s conked out of its head!”

“the dustpan, quick!”

second hamster ran out of the room into the kitchen, grabbed the dustpan, and went back inside the room.

with mini shrieks after mini shrieks, mama hamster swept the bat into the dustpan and straight into the plastic bag she had prepared while second hamster was out of the room.

with a shudder, mama hamster tied the plastic bag’s ends together and went out of the room.

second hamster followed, and dread crept into her veins when she saw where mama hamster was headed.

“niko!  bat, o!”

the baby, oh, lord, the ever-curious baby, stood up, held out his hands and said, “kua! kua!”  (get!  get!) *this is his version of “give me”*

now it was second hamster’s turn to shriek, “mama! no!”

of course, mama hamster has no intention of giving the bat to the baby.  instead, she held it out in front of the baby to give him a good look at it, and surprise of all surprises, the bat stirred and began clawing its way out of the plastic bag.

the baby, seeing the bat moving, did a little jig of excitement and waved his hands, “bat! pliiitttt!!!  kua!” (bat!  please!  get!)

“throw it away!” second hamster shrieked the second time.

mama hamster laughed, turned away, and threw it into the dustbin.

baby crying, “bat! bat! kua! kua!  lola, tao kiko bat!” (grandma, give niko the bat.)

*sigh*

babies!

Explore posts in the same categories: family, funny