the petulant child

nope, not niko, but me.

really want to throw a temper tantrum right now, one that am so famous for.  but i can’t.

have many deadlines to meet, but haven’t started writing the latest batch yet.   will probably start tomorrow, if i could catch up with the poker news, that is.  damn poker news!

didn’t pass my batch of daily poker news for today ‘coz had to finish the *sigh* car hire articles (yep, car hire again!).  big boss was probably screaming his head off, what with his too many ?????? dominating his email today.  yep, that’s a sure sign he’s pissed off, so had to devote my whole day to the big lot.  and when i finally submitted half of the batch, he asked for the excel file – the excel file which he didn’t include in his instructions – so had to copy-paste huge numbers of <p> and </p> before and after each paragraph.  and trust me, my shoulders are aching like hell right now.  really feels like have just finished a major upper arm workout!  but that’s copy-pasting for you.  basta…putang inang lanit kang hayop na mga abaga ko!  yun man lang.

tia caring did the grocery shopping for the store today and went home with P50 less in change.  50-fucking-pesos!  the other week, she went home with three bottles of soy sauce, when I was specifically asking for three bottles of vinegar, even wrote it neatly on my list.  gaaaahhhhh!!!  wanted so much to throw a hissy fit, but what the hell, there are some things that i just can’t control.  hmmm…i think i did throw a hissy fit, smaller scale nga lang.  yep, it was a hissy fit all right.

gords is leaving for laguna this thursday afternoon.  he’ll probably be back monday morning.  good thing am home with my family, ta kung dai, the thought of having no one to talk to during those days na he’s not here will probably drive me mad!  lonely nights ahead, but then again, am probably going to be so dead-tired at the end of the day, what with my full week of articles, that i might not miss him that much.  ehehe.  but then again (again!), sleeping alone is just not the same when you’ve gotten so used to having someone sleeping beside you.

what else pisses me off today?

oh, yeah!

other boss still hasn’t paid us.  have already submitted his articles eons ago, but still no moolah from him.  and i need me moolah!

*sigh*

there are so many things that i want to do, but money – the lack of it, to be exact – is limiting me.  don’t you just hate money problems?

know what else i hate about money talk?  when somebody answers your money questions (and problems) with “kwarta lang yan.”  it’s only money.  it’s not only money, damn you, but it’s money!  you can’t do what you want to do without money, for crying out loud, and you definitely cannot live without it.  *sigh*

i guess the root cause of my sulking right now is money.  money…money…money!

to end this rant on a happy note though…

……………………………….uda ki happy note……………………………….

no happy note for you, folks, tonight.

:(

am missing him…

every minute of every day that am awake, am missing him.  so much that it takes a lot of effort to control the dam from breaking.

miss his voice…miss the way he scratches his head…miss his smell…miss our morning coffee and yosi while watching cnn…miss his insensitive, careless remarks…miss his sometimes know-it-all attitude…miss touching him…miss rubbing the top of his head…miss teasing him with ice…miss the way he drives the car…miss his smile (oh, god, i miss his smile!)…miss his advices…miss the sound of his laughter…miss his hugs…miss his life lessons…miss walking with him…miss holding his hand…miss the sounds of his footsteps…miss the way he coughs or sneezes…even miss quarreling with him…

miss his presence…

miss his warmth…

miss his love…most especially miss his love.

I MISS HIM!

an update on kulasito 6 – liar, liar, pants on fire

don’t know if it’s a game for him or if he really is lying, but the baby lies!

monday morning…

niko was sitting on my lap when he suddenly let loose a huge fart, huge enough that i felt it through his diaper.

laughing and tickling him, i asked him who farted.

“mama!”  came the giggly response.

eh?

Lord, let this be true!

have just finished reading this from yahoo news.   how true is this?

i really hope it’s true, and furthermore, i hope it gets here sa pinas soon.

banolization 101

…before leaving for church…

a premonition

my hand will probably pass through the gap, but my chubby forearm might not.  won’t be able to reach the lock then.

hmmmm…maybe i should just break open the window downstairs to reach the lock, but then again, that will probably give me more problems in terms of securing the house.

or maybe…

yep, that’s right.  i’ll need a very good card, a hard card, in fact, to pass through the slit and push open the lock.  *sigh* i’ll use my prc id then.  nope, won’t do.  have not received my new prc id yet.

atm card?  nah, it’ll probably damage the card.

what else?  a screwdriver?  too fat for the gap.  besides, it’s round.  i’ll need a hard flat one.

card it is then.

maybe am just being paranoid, and this probably won’t happen. besides, tia caring is a bit “praning” when it comes to locking the doors and getting in, so she’ll be sure to say something and do the right thing.  but still, won’t hurt to make sure that we can enter the house, just in case…for my own peace of mind.

yep, tia caring didn’t twist the lock of the ailing and dysfunctional sliding doors to the third floor.

good.

…basilica church…

tia caring, worried expression on her face: “ask gords.  he’s the last person to leave the house.”
me, turning to gords: “you didn’t lock the first floor’s front door, did you?”
gords: “yes.”

no more on the issue of locking or not locking the front door, after having assumed that gords did not, indeed, lock it.

…home…

tia caring, a little terrified shriek: “he locked it! he locked it!”

gaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

premonition came true!

me: “shit! shit!  shit!  you didn’t tell him?!”
tia caring: “i told him NOT to lock it!”
me: “you didn’t, or he wouldn’t have locked it.”
tia caring, insisting: “i did!”

checking to make sure that the first floor’s front door was, indeed, locked, ran towards the front of our house, up the stairs to the second floor, shook the screened doors till it sprang open, and shook the sliding door, in hopes of popping open the lock.

no success.
still locked.
no way in.

pushed my arm in to reach the lock.  hand in…gaaaahhh!…forearm can’t get through!  can’t get arm in!  can’t reach lock!

sweating like a runner – wet armpits, neck, chest, and all – ran back down the stairs and asked for a card, any card, for that matter.

mama gave me her philhealth card.

up the stairs again, inserted the floppy card into the slit.

no go.
lock won’t budge.

down the stairs again, nearly screaming in frenzy,  “hard card! need harder card!”

mama and lala, digging furiously into their purses, looking for “hard card!  harder card!” when lala waved her privilege card at me.

good…hard card.

up the stairs again, into the slit the card went, and push.

no luck.
lock tough as rock.
lock stuck!

more pushing of card against lock.  harder push!

nada! zilch!

shit!  nearing panic mode.

three stupid dogs barking like crazy, begging for attention.
tia caring, moaning: “we can’t get in!  we can’t get in!  how can we ever get inside again?”
niko, crying: “mama!  mama!”
his lola, my mama, carrying niko: “later, niko.  mama’s doing something to get us in.”

poor baby, can’t understand why his mama is in such a panicked…and livid…state, running up and down the stairs.

gords, crossing the street and up the stairs: “what’s wrong?”
me, furious and accusing: “you locked the front door!”
gords: “why shouldn’t i?  we were leaving for church?”
me, still shaking the door and still pushing at the lock using the card with jerky movements: “we have no key for the front door.  we lost it some time ago.”
gords: “you didn’t tell me.”
me, controlling my anger, was thinking of the pizza that gords is going to order when we get in…if we get in: “i thought tia caring told you.”
gords: “she didn’t.”
me, still playing the blame game: “you must not have heard her.  no front door key.  lost front door key, so no locking on the inside, locking only on the outside.”

ah, saint jinx, control your temper.  think of pizza…and cold coke afterwards…and yosi.

…if ever we pushed the lock open and get in.

if not…

(mind wandering)

what if we can’t get in?!  where will we sleep?!

what about the baby?!  his milk?!  his diapers?!  still have to give him a bath before bedtime, especially since he’s so sticky na.  plus, he’s getting hungry…and sleepy…and scared!

what about my napkin?!?!

hmmm…how much does the services of a locksmith cost?  will it take too long to make a key?  30 minutes?  an hour?  half a day?  the whole day???  for that matter, where can i find a locksmith?!?!?!  on sunday of all days?!  maybe gords knows one.  can he text or call one to come here…immediately?  it’s a life and death situation, for pete’s sakes!

thinking about my husband, can i strangle him?  is that legal?!?!?!  is it going to put me in jail?  i won’t choke him to death, mind you.  just a liiiiiiittttlllleee iiitttittyyyy-biiiittttittyyyy squeeze here and a liiiiiiittttlllleee choke there.

(mind back to the present)

gords, taking the card from me: “what are you doing?”
me: “pushing the lock open.  i checked and made sure that tia caring didn’t twist the lock before we left.  so if i could only push it open, we can get in.”
gords: “lemme try.”

while he was pushing the lock with the card, i was gently positioning the sliding door into the position i knew that makes it easier to open.

pop!

ahhhh…the all-too familiar popping sound.

we’re in, fellows!

home, sweet home!

i knew it!

i knew it!

after so many, many, many months of heart-thumping minutes, nail-biting scenes, and melt your heart lovey-dovey moments, the whole fucked-up whatchamacallit had an ending that was sooooo, soooooo, sooooooooo gay…i love it!!!

i do!!! i so swear-to-god-hope-to-freaking-die loved every minute of its fucking ending!

knew they’d end up together…ahahahaha…with a baby between them to share!  oooh, it was so priceless!  hilariously, fuckingly priceless.

*sigh*

YUCK!!!

there is nothing more disgusting than the sound of a popping cockroach under the heel of your shoe.  *shiver*

YUCK!!!

ah…traslacion

tomorrow’s traslacion.

unfortunately, there’s going to be a liquor ban tomorrow, but fortunately, i have no intention of selling any liquor.

rachel told me that it’s her first time to see the traslacion aside from watching it on the tube, so i told her stories about what to expect tomorrow.  told her that there’s another surefire way of knowing that INA is approaching, aside from the chorus of voices screaming “viva” at the top of their lungs, and you can trust your dependable nose to tell you that.

ahhh…i could just imagine the smell of men.
smelly armpits – take your pick of high school BO, kargador BO, or tricycle driver BO.
bodies reeking of the smell of sun, stale sweat, cigs, and alcohol.

can i gag now???

told her, too, that the street’s going to fill up with more men than she’s ever seen in one sitting, but before she even thinks of drooling over them, i told her that their combined smells will more than turn her off of them.  really, when you’ve lived in my street this long, you’re not going to see individual faces, but you’re going to see a throng of men with one very distinctive smell oozing out of their hyperactive sweat glands.

here are the men with INA…

here are the men with DIVINO ROSTRO…

now, imagine their smell here.  hahaha!

ugly smell or not, but i do love the traslacion.

happy me…happy lala

as have said, bo’s in manila right now, and lala and i are waiting for him to come home so he could finally take his shift at the store.  but another reason why we so, so, so want him back is that he has our books.

finally, dear blog, i own my complete set of jeanne duprau’s the ember series as well as the dark is rising sequence of susan cooper.  yipeee!

and lala’s happy she’s finally completed her harry potter series, including “the tales of beedle the bard,” which she recently purchased through ebay.  she’s also ecstatic at finally getting her hands on a copy of colleen mccullough’s antony and cleopatra.

so, bo, if you’re reading this…umuli ka na!

kulasito and tiago…and soon, tega!

our boys…kulasito and tiago…little me and little mamae

soon…si tega na maluwas!

an update on kulasito 5

niko now knows how to comfort us or show some remorse when he has done something wrong.

one night, mama was complaining that she no longer has money then pretended to cry.  niko, who was busy playing with his book, looked up and stared at mama.  then he suddenly said, “pundo!” (stop!) . of course, that had us laughing.  mama, encouraged, didn’t stop “crying,” so what niko did was to put down his book, went over to mama, and said, “kugot…baba!”  in his baby talk, which means “kugos” or hug and “padaba” or love.

this also happened when I was complaining of money problems.  he draped himself over me and said in his husky baby voice, “mama, pundo!  kugot!  baba!”

aside from this, he also already knows his usual lines before i bring him down to our room.  he would wave bye-bye to mama, a flying goodnight kiss, and say “goon nay!” and “lamb-lyu!” for his goodnight and love you.

and when he did something wrong and you tell him of that, he shows his remorse by, again, hugging you and saying, “kugot! baba!”

he can really melt hearts.

right from the start, i told everybody not to “baby” him too much when he gets hurt, like falling or hitting his head.  we do comfort him, but not to the extent that we hit whatever hurt him.  i saw it a hundred of times from other families that when their toddler falls or hit his head on a chair, the adults around him would tell the child, “i’ll hit the chair that hurt you, so the pain would go away!  bad chair!”  then they would let the child see them hitting the chair.  of course, that stops the tears, but one negative effect that i’ve seen is that they are teaching the child that it’s okay to hit back.

but not our niko.  instead of babying him, we tell him that it’s okay and that the pain’s going to go away soon, but we never, never teach him to hit back at what hurt him, and i think we did alright in that department.  when he gets hurt, he easily stops crying and he never hits back.  oh, he would cry (if it was really painful for him) but go on his merry way afterward.

he also knows his full name.  he calls himself “kiko” though.  kolak ad-dam dan-dow-wo.  hehehe.

funny enough that it sounds eerily like marlboro.

hmmmm…scairt ako!

jesus visits, and what do you do?

you know what our religion teachers love to say, right, especially when it comes to beggars.  “give alms to the poor ‘coz these poor people is jesus knocking on your hearts to be as compassionate and as understanding as he is” or something like that.

anyhoo, as one friend of bo used to say about his regular beggar, “lucky me! jesus visits me daily and drains my allowance!”

it cannot be denied though that some of them become pretty abusive.  give once, twice, thrice to the same beggar, and you bet  your pretty ass that he’ll always come knocking on your door.  sometimes, it also happens that he begins to choose what he wants.  give him a peso, and he’ll look at you with a kind of look that simply says “one peso will not get me anywhere”  and then you look at him and see that he’s as healthy as a horse.

but what the hell, it’s life.

if you see that the person really needs it, then, by all means, give some.  but if you see that he could make a decent living other than begging, then you’ll be feeding his laziness if you give him money.

anyway, i love this saying, “give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day.  teach him to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.”

now, isn’t that a whole lot better?

and i also bet that jesus would be happier if he sees self-sufficient people.

a stupid question deserves a stupid answer

me and tia caring while watching…ugh!…santino.

tia caring, watching santino talk to bro: “jing, who do you think bro is?”
me, shrugging my shoulders: “don’t care about santino…don’t care about bro.”
tia caring: “no, really…who’s bro?”
me, irritated: “it’s the same freaking banker who doesn’t want to show his freaking face!”

after a while…

me, thinking thoughtfully: “or maybe it’s big brother…his home’s gonna open soon, you know.”

top 15 college memories

in my case, sharon cuneta’s song “high school life” does not apply to my life.  in fact, hated high school.  but college…ah, college…that’s a different story altogether.  here are some of my fondest memories in college.

1. having my very first date.  hahaha!  ooh boy, i remember that event.  had to have a chaperon pa with us, mind you.  anyway, took my then best friend with me on the first date.  don’t remember what i ordered, really, but i remember that i could NOT eat a thing!  i was THAT nervous.  ehehehe.  the three of us went on more dates but i lost interest when we attended the wednesday novena.  he was singing off-key to one of the songs in the novena when my friend started nudging me.  she was damned near to choking on her own laughter, and i didn’t know whether i would laugh with her (he was that off-key!) or beg him to stop singing.
2. i learned how to ride a motorcycle, and it was bo who taught me.  anyway, there we were, down in isarog street, creeping like a caterpillar (was that anxious hence the slow speed) with my eyes fixed on the road (yes, the road) when suddenly i saw a huge pile of gravel.  instead of avoiding the little mound, i braked hard, so there we were…flying over the little hill that felt like a big mountain…and landed on the other side.
3. was feeling confident with my driving ability that i was finally secure in the knowledge that i could ride the scooter alone.  again, isarog street (creeping more like a snake now) when i saw a child who was barely four years old, i think, running beside my oh-so-slow scooter.  of course, i cut down on my speed all the more, when the kid suddenly decided to cross the street.  saw my front tire hit him squarely on the back…hard brake…and there i was, flying once again, and landed on a heap beside the kid.  knew that my speed was slow, so the kid was probably crying ‘coz of shock and fear rather than pain.  anyhoo, heard people yelling “call the cops! call the cops!” then saw the kid’s father running towards us.  started bawling like the kid was doing and profusely saying “sorry po!” at the same time.  lucky me though that the father was kind and, despite his neighbors’ protests, he told me to go.  of course, i hurriedly got on the scooter and drove away.  till now, still think about the child and wonder whether he turned out okay or not.  probably did, never heard from the police.
4. fell in love for the first time.  ahihihi.  what’s college without falling in love, right?  anyhoo, embarrassing as THAT was, it still deserves to be in my top 15 college memories, but need not expound on that though.  suffice it to say that it was a roller coaster ride of emotions, especially when we fight.
5. failing a subject for the first time.  always had good grades during my first and second years, but our third year seemed to be toughest.  we had to study three thick books (or was it four?) on one subject and had to master a variety of special tests, measurements, and a whole lot more.  anyhoo, i failed the midterm exams miserably.
6. saw a nyuldilock movie for the first time.  ahahaha!  it was my 18th birthday so felt it was MY rite of passage to be able to watch an xxx film, in all its naked glory (pun intended)!  anyhoo, mama (yep, my dear old mama) rented the video tape, and a friend and i watched it.  lady friend, mind you, had no boyfriends then.  it was…educational.  didn’t know that some men have slanted dicks.  ahahahaha!
7. the written revalida.  just the mere mention of the written revalida sent chills up our spines.  it was a major series of written exams the fourth years have to take at the end of the school year before we go into our internship, and those who failed three subjects, i think, will not be accepted into the internship program.  fail two, and you have to retake the whole exam.  fail one, and you have to take another exam of the subject you failed at.  (i think those were the rules.  hehehe.) of course, studied my ass off…and i aced it.  hahaha!  braggart!  anyhoo, helped my classmates and wrote my answers in big letters that even gords (not my boyfriend then), who was sitting two rows to my left, saw them and benefited from it.  let’s just say that our teachers weren’t happy with that and kept a close eye on the way i write my answers, so was forced to at least make them smaller.  hehehe.
8. my forehead met a pole with a loud clang.  my then boyfriend and i had another huge fight, so was ignoring him when we were walking towards the canteen.  was busy looking at something towards my right when the pole in front of me (one that i never even noticed was there) suddenly made its presence known.  wham!  and i literally saw stars dancing against a very black backdrop.  THAT knocked the wind out of my sails.  hahahaha!  ouch!
9. breaking up with my then boyfriend and coming out of it reborn.  wow! drama!  but it was exactly like that.  when we were together, i grew fat and lazy.  hahaha!  when he broke up with me (yep, HE BROKE UP WITH ME because of a slut with braces!), i swore to win him back, make him crawl back to me, abuse the hell out of him, and dump him.  so i dieted and became as thin as my body allowed me to be thin and went back to my pre-college weight of 98 pounds.  yep, 98 pounds.  must’ve lost 35+ pounds during the process, mind you.  hahaha!  anyway, not only did i lose weight, but i also cut off my long hair to a boy’s haircut…and i was gorgeous!  ahahahaha!  but before i could carry out my plan, i realized that i deserve more than the likes of him, revenge or no revenge.  oh, he did tell me he that loves me still, but i showed him the door.  anyhoo, i was blissfully in love with gords na.
10. the oral revalida.  another chills-down-the-spine major exam before we graduate, only this time, we were to face a panel of “judges” instead of the usual papers.  before we went on our internship, we were told to make sure that we handle at least 15 unique cases during the whole 10-month rotation, and at the end of our internship, the panel will choose one of the cases, which we have to discuss in front of them.  so i brushed up on major illnesses like stroke, spinal cord injury, cerebral palsy, peripheral nerve injury, traumatic brain injury, and the likes.  did not give fracture an in-depth review, feeling that i might get one of the major ones, but lo and behold, they chose fracture.  i guess it was a good poker face that made me pass the oral revalida ‘coz i knew that i failed it miserably.  oh, i knew “some” about fracture, but definitely not enough to do well, let alone pass it especially when they asked me about the healing process and the duration of each stage!  and it was days later when i learned from mamae that, thanks to my poker face, i passed the oral revalida.  one of my panels told her, “she was good.  she knew that we know she knows nothing about fracture, but she was adamant in her answers that she was right.”  hahaha!  talk about being fair to the rest of my classmates.  anyway, i just did what one of my teachers told us.  “they no longer know all about the diseases, so you have to convince them that you KNOW your case.”
11. poc.  i failed my poc rotation ‘coz i failed the major return demo.  embarrassing as it may sound, but i was the only student in our batch who failed at that center.  i did not pass poc ‘coz stupid me forgot to lock the damned wheelchair, and it cost me a lot of big points.  it was a major thing, locking the wheelchair, and i overlooked it.  that, and the fact that i simply did not do good on the rest of the exam.
12. the first time that i entered a prison cell and sat down with the prisoners.  oooohhhh, but this was scary shit.  it was one of our do-good-things in college (for what subject, have forgotten already).  visit the prisoners, cook for them, offer them snacks, give them a little respite…and buy some of the items that they make.  i would’ve felt much better…and safer…had their doors been closed, but no, somebody had to ask the guards (and there were so few of them that we could have easily been held hostage had the devil made the prisoners’ minds his playground!) to open the cell doors and let us all wander in.  so there we were with the prisoners inside their little prison cells, sitting beside them, listening to woeful stories of why they have been incarcerated there, exchanging hopes and dreams, and all the while my heart was thumping like crazy.  but you know what?  they never showed any signs of doing us harm.  in fact, they were pleased that someone visited them and gave them a little break away from the monotony of prison.  before we went home, i bought a nice handmade jewelry box from them, and it was one of the things that i deeply cherished until god knows what happened to it.
13. graduation day.  it was a bittersweet day for me.  was happy that school was finally over, but was sad that it was time for us to part ways.  the graduation ceremonies were supposed to be held outside by the winding stairs, but it was raining, so the admin decided to hold it inside the auditorium.  sayang!
14. kissed another guy while my then boyfriend was waiting for me.
15. making up for my demerits in msh.  this happened after graduation na, but since this was a part of college, i thought of including it in my list.  anyhoo, if it wasn’t for my last day of make-up duty in msh, i would never have exchanged phone numbers with gords, so yes, it was a cannot-forget-lord-thank-you-so-much moment for me.  gords and i were supposed to have the same make-up duty schedules, but he always canceled ‘coz he was apparently too busy with other things.  anyway, on my last day of make-up duty, gords visited msh to fetch a friend of his.  he saw me, asked for my number, called me up, asked me out on a date, and the rest, as they say, is history…

so, tere, here’s my top 15 college memories.

my dearest blog…

my dearest blog,

forgive me, for am about to rant yet again.

rant part one, dear blog, and am just warming up.

niko’s yaya was absent yesterday, so had to close the store early ‘coz had nobody to help me with niko, plus was so busy with work, too, so had to choose two of the three duties that have to do yesterday (niko, work, and store).  chose niko and work.  she (yaya) arrived this morning (yey!), but mama had to tell her to go back home ‘coz her papa was looking for her yesterday.  i could not lie and tell him (her papa) that i sent her to centro, so i told him the truth…that her precious daughter did not arrive for work yesterday…and then saw pure irritation and anger flashed on his face.  not directed at me, mind you, but at his precious daughter.  he fears what all fathers fear…her daughter getting pregnant out of wedlock.  yes, dear blog, she has a boyfriend who’s really, really, really pursuing her.  they’re going to get married by the end of the year, but i hope that he’s not too much in a hurry to get under and inside her panties, lest she gets pregnant and i get the blame for not keeping an eye on her and for not maintaining an iron-fist when it comes to her boyfriend visiting her here.  her father fears that she’s going to get pregnant before the big day or elope with her boyfriend…and i fear that she’s going to leave after the big day (which is probably inevitable, anyway) ‘coz, trust me when i say this, dear blog, it’s difficult to find someone you can trust.  anyway, she came back here with puffy and swollen eyes, so knew she was crying and that her papa scolded her. now am scared that he might’ve told her to quit her job.

rant part two, dear blog, so hold on to your hat.

bo decided to prolong his stay in manila.  thought he was traveling home this wednesday night, but no, he had to extend his stay, so lala and i are going to be stuck minding the store till we close shop for more days to come, with me almost the whole fucking day…from 7 am to 11 pm…and that DOES NOT make me one happy puppy.  i miss my niko! i miss working and seeing him making so much “kulit.” bo, if you’re reading my blog, my lower lip is AGAIN sweeping the floor free from dust!

rant part three, dear blog, am nearing the end of my rant, so please bear with me for a few more minutes.

gords is having a freaking shitty day, just like i am.  and you know what happens when a person who’s in a terribly bad mood faces another person who’s in an equally bad mood, right?  right…not good.

rant part four, dear blog, am just wrapping up (although the day’s not done yet, and it’s far from over, mind you!)

just received another bad news.  someone i truly care for is hurt, and we’re all scared at what might happen to her.  but we’re stuck in some kind of a limbo as we really don’t know what to do.  call the police, and the situation is sure to worsen.  ignore it, and the situation is going to get just as worst!

what to do?  what to do?  what to do?

depending on you right now, dear blog, to at least help me keep my sanity intact.

love,
jinx

p.s.  might have a second letter for you, dear blog, so…*sigh*